I'm about ready to embark on one of the scariest adventures of my life. I'm forty years old with an eighteen year career in public education, and three days ago I submitted my request to take a one year leave of absence to stay home and home school my two most amazing and different children. As I expect that some of these blogs may get passed around a bit, I'll refrain from using my babies' real names, but my close friends will smile as I will call them Dragon Girl and Monkey Boy.
Dragon Girl - she's my special one - from the moment of her birth she has pulled all sorts of fast ones on us. Born blue, refused to gain weight (still does, at the age of eleven), tonsils and adenoid surgery, ear tubes, sleep apnea, audioprocessing deficits in her left ear, and vision processing deficits. DG didn't really start talking until we had the first set of ear tubes put in at the age of four. I mean, she talked and could she sign! But she didn't really talk until age four. Once she could hear (apparently she was having chronic ear infections that were going undetected), the words came out quickly. At age seven we discovered the audioprocessing deficits, age eight the apnea, and finally at ten we discovered the vision processing issues. It was this last discovery (a horribly expensive discovery, I might add) that finally broke through and caused huge changes in the way DG viewed herself and life. With each stage of discovery came a new set of setbacks and complications . . . and lots of therapy.
Monkey Boy - well, what can I say? He's a mastermind. Walking at ten months. Speaking in paragraphs by age two. Playing chess by age four. Calculating his own bowling score and doing multi-step math problems by age six. Beautiful cursive in first grade. What is interesting about this child is that even at the Montessori school they don't know what to do with him. In fact, I feel like he's making negative progress right now - that his math skills were much better in kindergarten, and he's getting lazy. This once seriously inquisitive child now has little motivation to learn or create, and I'm sad and angry about it.
Then there's me. I'm an eighteen year veteran teacher who has been there, done that. The last few years have been rough as I have watched public education take a turn into a very dark and scary place, and I've kind of had enough. I can't see myself putting my children into the system. Ever. And I can't see myself working one more year in it.
For these three reasons, I am taking a step back, wrapping my arms around my children, and recognizing what is truly important. My family. My children. My own life. And although my other children have impacted me and made permanent marks on my heart, nothing means more to me right now than knowing I get to spend the entire year next year learning with my two. And that is why this blog will be entitled Phoenix Feathers. A phoenix perishes in flame and then is reborn out of the ashes that were once its body. Lots of things have died for us - for DG it has been her deficits as she slowly sheds them. For MB it is his love of learning. For me, my willingness to play the game of the education system is gone. But from all of that we will become something new and wildly brilliant.
Will it be hard? Sure it will. Togetherness is hard. Making ends meet financially is hard. But will it be worth it? You bet it will! And I can't wait!
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